Why I am not blogging (more often)?
Sometimes people ask me, “Hey, why are you not writing more often in your blog?” and I recently stumbled upon the answer. Here it is:
(source: #)
That’s it. That’s the blog post. :-)
Reality bites
This rain cannot last forever
At least I hope so.
My heart is heavy from thought about people I love and care for. But we cannot find a way to each other.
That’s why I am probably talking with them constantly in my mind.
Who’s right? And who’s wrong?
It doesn’t matters at all…
About .net magazine Bulgaria and its editor-in-chief
I just left my job as an editor-in-chief of the Bulgarian .net magazine (it’s a localized version under the license of the .net magazine, UK). And because I don’t want this text to misinterpreted in any way, let me say that Future Publishing are not involved in this story and all that happened is between me and my Bulgarian publisher.
I started this job (which was a big challenge for me) with eagerness and passion and I know I did my best.
The first issue was a crazy story; it was done in less than four weeks and with the possible minimum of resources. But it was accepted very well by its audience of Bulgarian designers & developers, and so started for me the period of ten months of sleepless nights.
Eleven issues. 5 of them made without the proper help of an assistant-editor and the first three made even without the help of a proof-reader. I constantly worked online with the print designer, who was a freelancer; we also had to work together personally many nights, just before going to print. For months I answered to all e-mails, sent to us by our readers, I took interviews and I was constantly searching (online and offline) for contributors for the magazine. And if you think that “editor-in-chief” is just some kind of a good business card decoration — it is not.
I will always remember many fun situations, like the one when in a frenzy just before going to print we realized that there’s an illustration we don’t have the right to use. Then I made a quick sketch and it went to print. The good side was that nobody complained about this particular illustration. ;-)
Every issue was a product of hard work, and I am very well aware that they are not perfect, but at least they were made with love. Lots of love! :-)
It’s a long and painful story for me to tell, and I will spare you most of the details. The main reason for my sudden leaving could be generalized with these terms (usually associated with divorcing couples): “insurmountable differences of personalities”. In this case — differences between the editor-in-chief and the publisher.
Hundreds of times I tried to sit down and to write about it, but I just couldn’t find the right words.
There were many things that could probably turn out better, but they didn’t. I know it’s partly because of my naiveté.
Like I said once, if you do a job with all of your heart, you take the risk to have it broken, but anyhow, it’s the only way I know how to live and work.
When I give my word that I will do something, I am much too devoted to the achieving of the best possible results.
It’s fair to be said that I always keep my word.
The worst sin of mine is probably that I am over-credulous.
I gave a credit of trust to a person who showed me from the very beginning that it can’t be trusted.
What were the chances that one day it will let me down? Huuuge.
And when it happened, I couldn’t even believe it.
So, I am writing this as a warning to other people like me:
Please, don’t make the same mistake.
Don’t focus all your life on work, no matter how attractive it is and how much it seems to give you satisfaction.
Indeed, working as an editor for .net Bulgaria was in many ways a wonderful job.
It was high lath and I jumped it.
The amount of effort I have invested was not remunerated accordingly, but I took this job because I liked the magazine very much and so I worked hard 28 days every month for it to happen.
I had to read and re-read the magazine at least three times on screen before going to print, and this means reading and editing over 300 thousand characters, and it was more than enough strain for my eyes and for my back (which now troubles me seriously).
Despite this, everything concerning .net also gave me the very satisfying feeling that I can do bigger things than I have previously thought I am able to, and so I still feel it as a big personal success.
But as an employee, I failed. I admit that I failed mainly to defend my rights, relying very foolishly on false promises and beautiful words.
I wish a wonderful future to .net Bulgaria, because there is no parent who would wish ill to his child. But I also remind myself to be very, very careful next time, when I give my trust to someone.
Even if for a good cause.
The moral of this story is that you cannot be misused, unless you let yourself be.
A door is closed, but many others are waiting to be opened, and I am happy that I can step up on a new path in my life.
P.S. This job gave me the opportunity to meet and work with unique people.
I want to say thanks especially to Dan Oliver — my English counterpart, and to all of the people who helped .net Bulgaria without receiving anything in return.
Don’t want to mention all of you name by name, for I am afraid I can miss somebody. :-)
I am most happy to know all of you and I will be always grateful for the chance to work with you.
I owe many of you more than one beer. ;-)
(Without forgetting my dear husband, who supported me all the time, even when part of the price for this was neglecting our personal life).
Everything flows…
Don’t have time to be myself. How stupid this could be?
My Dad likes to tell me – “Kid, everything flows”. Well, he’s practically right. Only…I usually add with bitterness, that it is true, everything flows, even the whole life.
Do you remember those childish phrase – “Stop the Earth, I wanna descend!”?
I was looking for something bright to finish, but don’t feel very bright right now. I feel sulky.
Edit: I found what I was looking for – some posters, which I have printed and I want to frame and hang on. Animals teach us to be human. Yes…
Paradoxes…
Always, when you put heart in your work, you take the risk to have it broken.
If you don’t eat your vegetables…
The photographer Carl Warner evidently has a special attitude toward food, so he used his imagination to create these unbelievable landscapes from food.
One great woman showed me his masterpieces lately and I, delighted, decided to share them with as many people as I can. :-)
Enjoy them, and if you feel hungry while watching – bon appetit!
Book Worm
Few months ago an online inquiry caught my attention and i still think about it.
The question in this inquiry was simply “Do you read books?” and the maximum positive answer was defined as “1-6 books per year”. This, I admit, amazed me.
As a matter of fact, I couldn’t believe someone considering that nobody reads more than 6 books per year.
I had this opportunity and asked a person, related to this inquiry, about his opinion.
Well, he told me that book worms as me don’t count and in general the young people don’t read books at all.
I refuse to believe it. I think that too many people still read.
On the photo above are only a few of the books I “ate” during the last four-five months.
Well, it is true, that I am dedicated reader – I read everywhere and anytime.
But even so, I am sure that there are many people, who read six, and even seven books last year.
Please, help me prove that. :-)
If you read this blog, just let me know, please, the titles of the last seven books you’ve read.
I’ll be happy if you recommend some.
(My personal recommendation is Dara Horn’s novel – The World To Come, as well as Blink.)
“Do not put off work…
…for tomorrow”. And why not?
After the warm and cozy holidays, spent mainly with family at home, I am again at work and feel awfully out of place.
Then I saw this and cannot resist to show it to all of you, who believe that work till death is something natural.
I do believe that everyone has its calling.
That he or she has to search for it without rest till the day when will find that the job is not only a job for money or prestige, but it could be a source of pleasure and satisfaction.
What I thinks is that there is no such a job, deserving to neglect yourself, your health, your friends and family or just to forget that work is not the most important thing in life.
*People who put the focus only on carrier will inevitably pay the price, now or later. And this price is always high.
Bad news are that one can realize this only after life slapped him in the face and almost never before something nasty happened.
*/Deductions from personal experience/
Chaotic
I am so far from posting here lately, but I want to, damn it!
I am trying not very successfully to gather and rearrange my thoughts.
To rearrange somehow the things I want and the things I have to do on the same priority level.
To show here so many things, that I have done so far, that are created by me and I believe you gonna like them, my very few visitors, to like it as much as I do. ;-)
I promise to post something for Halloween tonight.
Till then I wanna share what’s in my ears today:
and that:
Oh, and did I mentioned that I have a tablet already? No?
Well, now I need only some time to get used to it, but will tell you more later about my progress.
Well…it seems when I don’t have enough spare time for creating little stupid things from clay, paper or textile, when I don’t have time to doodle and draw….only the music helps me to find myself.
How is it for you?
Blog Action Day
I alway wonder what kind of person can throw the cigarette’s end or his junk food’s packings wherever it is. Just like that.
To give my contribution to this day, I appeal to everyone:
Please, throw your odds and ends only where they belongs!
Keep the chocolate or chips packing with you till the next recycle bin.
One waste matter less. One more clean view. :-)
